Monday, January 30, 2012

Queen of the Procrasti Nation

Earlier today I tweeted about procrastination and somebody responded with "I'm the queen of procrastination". To which I responded

in reply to ..........
Sara Horney The queen of the Procrasti Nation !
50 minutes ago via web Favorite Reply Delete
Mentioned in this Tweet

I thought this was particularly witty on my part, but it also made me think a bit about what I'm currently putting off.

Right now, the major thing I've been putting off is joining a gym and starting to exercise regularly. I know I need to do this. I feel unhealthy and I would really like to shop in the non-plus clothing section. I'm starting to have trouble with my knees, I feel like dying after climbing the stairs at work and I don't have as much energy as I used to, but there just seems to be so many reasons why I haven't done this yet, I mean I've been talking about it for years, YEARS! and still I haven't done it. There always seems to be a reasonable reason not to.

Here's the list of some of the reasons I haven't joined a gym yet:

  • Money
  • Time
  • Nobody to go with
  • No way to get there (I don't drive)
  • I don't know how to use all the equipment or even really how to "workout"
  • I don't want to be the only chubby lady there
  • I'll look stupid
  • I don't own running shoes
  • I'm sick
  • I'm tired

Wow! Looking at that list makes me feel like a big (fat), whiny baby.

Some of those reasons are legitimate, but only to a point. Of course I can't join a gym if I don't have money, but is that stopping me from using the workout DVDs and Wii Fit I made my husband buy me with promises that they'd be used? And of course I can't take time off work to go to the gym, but somehow I found time to read 199 books last year, while still working full time and taking care of things at home, so really...?

The problem is a lot of those reasons are really just excuses because I'm too lazy or awkward to go out and try something new and potential uncomfortable.  Nobody wants to put on size 1x track pants and jiggle and sweat all over an elliptical, but I need to balance that awkwardness out with whether or not I want to have my knees replaced at 45 and/or start needing a scooter to get from place to place.

I know I'm not the only person that struggles with procrastination and making excuses that keep me from living to the fullest. What are some of the big things you're putting off? Consider making a list of all the reasons you can't do that thing and then really examine that list and see how embarrassing reasonable those reasons are. I bet you'll find at least 80% of them aren't reasonable and the other 20% can be worked around.

As for me, I've got a date with my sister to check out a gym tonight. If all goes well I'll be sweating my butt off (literally, please!) by the end of the week.

This was the best sweaty picture I could find. Don't judge.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

This Week in Crazytown! (January 22-28, 2012)

I don't have a lot here. The craziest thing about this week was probably the amount of Kleenex I went through while blowing my nose and praying for death.

I was sick. Sick as a dog. I thought I was getting better but on Wednesday whatever I had morphed into some kind of cold/flu, congested plague of pure evil or at least that's how I felt. Whatever it was it was not cool, not cool at all.

So I didn't do a whole lot this week other than sleep and check out which, in my honest opinion, is like Internet crack.

One thing that did make me laugh my head off was this YouTube video of what is possibly the worst Sunday morning music performance EVER. I was so sick I'd lost my voice and I was laughing so hard while watching this Jeff thought I was choking. My eyes were full of tears, my mouth was gaping open and shut but no sound was coming out. Then I showed him the video and he pretty much looked the same except with sound.

I know that it's not nice to make fun of people and as my sister Lisa (Happy Birthday! You're 30!) pointed out, it kind of seems like the piano player is out to get this guy, but still...Dude! This is bad.
I hope you enjoy this and that you have a great and healthy week!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

My Tenuous Relationship With the Start of This Calendar Year

So we're coming to the end of January, 2012 and can I just say that this has been a pretty craptacular start to the year. I had all these grand designs of how I was going to be more productive at home and work and how I was going to read all these awesome books and write super cool and meaningful blog posts and so far... nothing. What happens instead is that my Opa dies, Hubs and I get super sick and one of my office staff quits (over Christmas! Via Email!!) leaving me short staffed. So really all I want to do every night when I get home from work is lie on the couch and play Dr. Mario until I pass out every night.

Unfortunately he's not a real doctor.
The month hasn't been all bad of course and so in order to turn my frown upside down I'm going to go all Pollyanna and list at least 5 good things about this January. Enjoy!

1. The Goblin King had a birthday!
A big happy 65th birthday to David Bowie. My sister's first on screen crush (Labyrinth!!), the only guy who looks masculine in a unitard, sparkles and big hair and a top notch musician to boot. One of the pioneers of the androgynous look and just an all around cool guy. Happy Birthday!!
Where's my cake at?
2. Tim Horton's Upsized Everything!
Tim Horton's, beloved Canadian coffee chain has recently changed all their cup sizes. Presumably as a way to keep up with Starbuck's, Tim's has done away with the small, making the medium the new small and creating a new 24oz. extra large cup. It's bucket loads of premium coffee without having to learn Italian to order. I'm so excited I'm shaking...of course that could be the caffeine. ;)

3. Pinterest
So I got invited by some of my Internet friends to check out this website. Little did I know it would become this huge, super fun time suck in my day. Pinterest is an online pin board where you can organize and "pin" things you love and browse the boards of other people. I'm not really explaining it right. For a better definition check out my friend Syd's blog post about it, What’s Pinterest and How Do I Use It?
Right now, it looks like signing up is based on some kind of invitation only program, but it's really easy to get invited. If you get a chance to check this out do so, you'll like it.

4.  Live-streamed Church
So I've known that my new church has a livestream of their Sunday services since October, but I hadn't actually used it before. This past Sunday though, I was sick so I checked out the link and their it was, everything from the music to the message. So I got to sit in my jammies with my Kleenex eating BBQ chips and kind of be at church which was good, I needed that. 
Eat that all you people that say the Internet is bad!

5. The Library Came Through

So, I'm trying to be more fiscally responsible with my book purchases this year and it's hard. There are certain books, by certain authors that I want read and it's hard for my little library to meet all of my demands. However, this January, craptacular as it's been, I found not one, not 2 but eight (!) books that I wanted to read at the Library, so I haven't been tempted to buy any books yet. 
Hooray for the Brantford Public Library from me and my battered and bruised Visa Card.

Alright, I'm starting to feel a bit better about January 2012 now.
If you've had a hard month why not try and list the good stuff that happened?
Even if all you've got is that you possess the necessities of life you're still doing better than some people, right? Right!

Friday, January 13, 2012

This Week in Crazytown - A Tribute to Fashion (January 9-14, 2012)

Hi everybody! Did you miss me?
Had some family trouble that kind of through off my equilibrium, but I'm back now, mostly.
This week I've been seeing A LOT of fashion craziness online and I thought I'd share it with you in a sort of tribute to fashion.

1. Shoes
There have been tons of ugly shoes on the Internet this week. has a painfully awful list of  30 Insane High Heels That Will Make Your Feet Hurt.

Ladies, if part of your foot is on the ground I don't think you're technically wearing shoes.

Part of Old MacDonald's Fall Collection?

Then there's these abominations.
*shudders* So wrong. So very wrong.
These hybrid Uggs/Crocs and Vibram Fivefingers have been all over the Internet this week. They're horrible and awful and likely a fake, since I can't seem to find them on any of the websites for the companies that are supposedly part in bringing this monstrosity to life.If these are really I suggest we all start hoarding canned goods because the Apocalypse is surely coming soon.

2. Vintage Style
When I had more free time (read:before I got married and had my son) I used to scour secondhand stores for  awesome vintage-y goodness.  Recently I discovered a fantastic new vintage clothing shop in the town I live in it's called Netty Vintage. They've got a fantastic selection of vintage women's dresses, lingerie, shoes and jewelry. They haven't got a website yet but you can check them out on Facebook. Do it!

If you're one of those people who hates secondhand stores, but loves the look of vintage fashion check out Retronaut's vintage fashion pictures. With everything from pictures of the world's first bikini (circa 1946), the dresses of Tsarina Alexandra Romanov and spreads from Vogue Magazine from the 1950s and 60s this selection of photographs will give you a thrill without the searching through racks of old clothes.
British Vogue, 1965
3. Photoshop by Adobe
If you've ever bemoaned the lack of cellulite, pimples and uneven skin tones in fashion magazines you'll love this video. Watch it! Watch it I say!! It's AWESOME!

4. Walter Van Beirendonck
I don't really know a lot about this guy, but when you type "Bad Fashion" into Google Images his stuff is front and centre. His website showcases a whole lot of crazy and a weird obsession with peen. Also, based on his personal pictures I wouldn't let my kid within 80ft of him. 
This guy totally freaks my freak, but I have to thank him for reminding that Easter will be coming soon and I need to stock up on Peeps.
I just don't know where I'd wear something like this, I do however really want marshmallows. Weird. (Spring/Summer  Collection 2012)
5. Gareth Pugh
Noted fashion weirdo, Gareth Pugh, clearly has a different definition of "ready to wear" than I do. I'm pretty sure that there's not a lot of women out there "ready to wear" this stylish number anywhere. It seems to me that it might be a tad drafty. Just sayin'. *shrugs* 
Does this outfit make my hips look big?

6. Plus Size Models Vs. Regular Models
Plus Model Magazine has publishes a beautiful, but also very poignant article highlighting the differences between regular models and plus size models. The article has some frightening facts about the size of your average model and the size disparity between fashion models and the average woman. Did you know that most modelling agencies consider plus size to be anywhere from a size 6 to a size 14? Yeah, they do and that's just crazy!
If you're feeling a bit chubby after the holiday foodfest I highly suggest checking out this beautiful fashion spread featuring *gasps* women with curves, actual curves.
I think she needs a sandwich more than she needs a hug.
7. David Gandy
David Gandy is a male model. He's currently the face of Dolce and Gabbana, not to mention the face of many a woman's fantasy. I don't actually have anything important or meaningful to say about David Gandy I just wanted an excuse to "research" pictures of him. One thing I did find out is that Mr. Gandy has a blog on British Vogue's website and he sounds pretty intelligent, humble and normal. It's a fun read and best of all it comes with pictures!!
Just a little man-candy.

8. And the Oscar goes too....
Award show season is starting up and that means it's time for the good, the bad, and the ugly of celebrity fashion. Honestly, I only watch these shows for the bad fashion. Maybe I'm a horrible human being but I get big laughs out of people who makes millions of dollars and have countless personal assistants being unable to dress for a night out. 
One of the site's I check out most this time of year is Go Fug Yourself. Go Fug Yourself always has fantastic pictures of all the celebrity fashion blunders, as well as successes, but let's face it they're less fun, and hilarious, but intelligent, commentary. If you're looking to expend some schadenfreunde or simply chuckle at an actor who is obviously colour-blind. Check this site out.

Pheobe Price - She's not really famous for anything other than dressing badly.
Why am I not famous yet?

As I mentioned earlier, I've had some family stuff going on. I lost my Opa (German for grandpa) to cancer last week. He was 79. A German immigrant to Canada, he was also a tailor and leather worker. Opa could make a stylish outfit out of anything, he, at one point, worked for a high end suit shop and I'm pretty sure he was making outfits out of curtains before Fraulein Maria and the Von Trapps ever thought of it. 
We weren't incredibly close, but it's his family, my father's family, that I identify with most. 
Oma and Opa dressed up for something. Opa in his hand made Gaucho costume.
Opa - 1936-2012

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Stop Accidental Arm Flailing Now!

Ladies, do you ever have this problem? You're walking down the street minding your own business and, suddenly, out of the blue, your arms start flailing wildly? Do you flail when you are in a heated discussion or while dancing?

If you said yes to any of these scenarios Mark Goldberg, Israeli fashion designer and graduate of the Shenkar College of Engineering, Art and Design has designed the perfect dress for you.

Also comes in chartreuse and fire engine red!

Using fine metal rods, on which wool and cotton yarns are stretch in a circular pattern, Goldberg has created a chic and elegant cage for your embarrassing flailing limbs. 

 The "Woven Bird" dress is also handy for those intimate situations when you find yourself unsure of what exactly you're suppossed to do with your arms.

Consider buying one of these dresses for yourself, a loved one or that woman who flails ceaselessly in your office.

The Woven Bird comes in 18 beautiful shades and patterns and can be purchased in 8 easy installments of $3.50 and your soul.

Stop accidental arm flailing in your life today!!


Sunday, January 1, 2012

It's a New Year!

In the words of acclaimed, urban philosopher, Jay-Z (presumably pronounced Jay-Zed in Canada), "Go on brush your shoulders off...You got to get that dirt off your shoulder." Referring to negativity, the song suggests one just brush it off, get rid of it and keep going with your awesome self. 

This is the approach I'm taking to 2011. I'm just brushing it off. It's not that 2011 was a bad year. In fact, I can't actually think of anything awful that happened to me personally. I have friends and family that suffered through true loss and hard times, and for them I understand that 2011 may not so easily be brushed off. For these people I wish peace, joy and new beginnings for 2012, but for me I need to let 2011 go and move on.
Here's some of the cool stuff I did in 2011:
  • I read 199 books. This doesn't count the books I re-read. I think I could've made it to 200 but the book I'm currently reading is freaking long.  Here's a link to my top 5 favourite new reads for 2011.
  • My hair looks great in this shot! *sigh* I wish.
  • I started writing book reviews for the awesome people at Wicked Little Pixie a fantastic book review site.
  • I started writing a blog. How cool is that? If you're not sure it's very cool and it's a big thing for me. Totally out of my comfort zone. Usually, I just say snarky things and run. Now my snarkiness is on the Internet and there's no getting a way from that. 
  • I went to Zumba classes on a semi permanent basis and even checked out an anti-gravity yoga class. Again, totally out of my comfort zone as I'm decidedly non athletic and as a result jigglier than a Thanksgiving Jello mold.  It was a hard (and sweaty!) thing for me to get into but super fun.
  • I'm the one in the back about to fall on her head. Yeah, in the green. 
  • I made a lot of positive choices in my professional, social and spiritual life that have helped to start getting my life moving in the direction I want it to. 
  • And, most importantly, I went back to blonde. :D Obviously, not a major life changer, but I'm happy with it.

2012 is going to be awesome. Within the year I'll be celebrating my 10th wedding anniversary, my kid will turn 7 and hubs and I are going on a trip that doesn't involve Niagara Falls. I'm looking forward to meeting new people, accepting new challenges and facing the world head on as I brush off 2011 and belly flop my way into 2012.

May you easily brush off the negativity of 2011, taking only the good with you into a wonderful 2012.